To continue in our theme of the month of LOVE I was thinking about this popular song, “stop in the name of love..” I decided to take this idea and talk about things we should stop doing in the name of love. The common practice of comparing ourselves to others is a big one! Its an easy thing to do…and unfortunately not good for anyone! So ask yourself:
How do I avoid the comparison trap?
Its all around us…from blogs to social media to everyday life activities. These popular social sharing activities meant to connect us with the world …in a way can be unhealthy to our personal well being if we aren’t careful. Unhealthy in the fact that when looking at all of the positive perfection, where life may seem to always be greener on the other side…we can sometimes be plagued with feelings of inadequacy. These feelings can often times be discouraging and are not good for our personal well-being. Its natural human nature to look at our own life and feel inadequate if we aren’t somehow doing the same things as the apparent wonder woman type person we happen to be admiring. So if for some reason we are not quite feeling our best, may we are not having a good day…the comparison tendancy can easily take over if we arent careful…sooner than later it can really bring you down. We like positive, inspiring and uplifting for sure…but its important to remember life is not always going to be perfect especially when we happen to be peeking into another person’s life. The reality is they have challenges and struggles just like we do…we just aren’t seeing that side of it.
So how do we NOT allow ourselves to fall into this trap? I came up with just a few simple ideas I try to do to help maintain my personal well-being.
1. Remember rome was not built in a day…and the person you are admiring did not become who they are in a day…we are all constantly evolving. Often times we see a success and think , “if only that were me!…without realizing there was a process and hard work involved in that person achieving their success. We are all at different stages in a life and learning, I don’t know about you but sometimes for me it feels I have to learn something over and over again till I finally get it. It’s important to remember to be kind and patient with yourself…, ” You really are doing better than you think you are!”
2. Create a gratitude Journal...when we are expressing sincere appreciation daily for the many things that we do have…there isn’t time to be get discouraged or compare ourselves or think we are inadequate. This automatically turns a negative into a positive. This is an exercise I have even started doing with my children. The result in one week has been astounding. Our daily routine somehow has become more positive as we focus on the positive by simply changing our outlook through gratitude.
3. Fill another bucket; Give someone a compliment…by filling other peoples buckets we somehow magically fill our own. Funny how that works but it is so true! Its easy to want or feel like we need validation…but when we turn our focus outward then our own problems seems to fade away and life just got a little rosier! So give someone a compliment, a like, or a pin. Share the love!
From our new series A Peek at Motherhood the inspiring…Elizabeth Kartchner shared with us some great advice about not comparing ourselves to others…her favorite quote ” Find you, Be you, Be happy with that!” is perfect. She said at times she found herself trying to fit into another mold or be like someone else. But instead she tries to focus on her natural gifts and talents. Thank you Liz that is such great advice!
It can all be summed up in a favorite Cat in the Hat poem…
there is nothing better than just being yourself, being YOU is the best thing you could ever be!